Happiness.

Try it.

My friend posted the link to the latest online pop culture phenomena: MyLifeIsAverage.com. This is the lamass’ answer to FML. I’m dying. This is why:

Today I went to McDonalds and instead of ordering a McFlurry, I asked for two softserves, a small cup, a spoon and 50 cents worth of M&M’s. I made my own McFlurry, it costed $1.50 less and it was bigger than a normal Mcflurry, I felt I had beat the system. MLIA

Do I have a twin in the world?  If not, I at least have a soulmate or future BFF.  Someone find this person.  STAT!

When I’m on the phone with my daddy, I always play this game.  He doesn’t know about it.  It’s called “Make Him Say ‘I Love You’ First”.  I get some strange sense of empowerment when he utters that phrase first.  I can’t remember the last time a male said that to me and meant it in the “I Love You More Than a Friend” way.

When did love get so complicated?

When did SEX get so complicated?  Probably when the two were forced to join hands and frolick in the fields together.  Vomit.  Do what (or who?) you do.  It isn’t anyone else’s business.

In some magazine I don’t read/care about, Gerard Butler said,

We’ve taken something as simple as sexual attraction, something that’s in our DNA, that’s basic to society, and turned it into something complicated. We’ve made the rules we must abide by that make it difficult to connect with each other. If a woman has great breasts, I’d love to tell her so. But in polite society, you can’t do that. Which is a shame.

I mean, I hardly expect a male to compliment my…you know.  But I think we should be able to say what we want to say.  Just say it.  Just SAY it.  Just say IT.  I derived 13 different meanings from those last 3 sentences.  They were all the same words.  What’s wrong with this picture?

I’m going to quit while I’m ahead/behind.  All I’m saying is “You fucked it up; and I’m pissed about it; but not enough to tell you about it; because that would prove I care; which would give you satisfaction; which I refuse to do; so I’m forcing myself to be temporarily miserable; I’ll move on; you’ll have missed out on a good thing; blah blah blah”.

See?  That wasn’t so hard…